servanthood saturday: silent no more

I had this entire blog post planned out, some of it has already been written and saved in draft form when God came and uprooted EVERYTHING. I would normally shy away from topics such as this one because it is a touchy subject and I know more than a few people who are a part of this unique community, LGBTQ. But I feel that I needed to make a stance on this for the future. Why? I don't know. Only God knows and He's not letting me in on it yet.

So this is how it's going to be. I'm going to tell you EXACTLY what I think of the LGBT community. I will share what I feel in my heart...and you can either take it or leave it.

So much has been said about equality for ALL people, no matter who they are. I believe that. So much has also been said AGAINST this very issue simply because of what it says in the Bible...and I believe that as well.

So here's what I believe: I don't support same-sex marriages and I don't really care for that lifestyle. Actually, to be perfectly honest, I'm kind of ambivalent on this.

BUT

I will never, EVER, condemn another person for having that kind of lifestyle. I will never, EVER, go out of my way to make that particular person feel less than human for having that kind of lifestyle. I will never, EVER, 'preach' to that particular person about what the Bible says. I will never, EVER, browbeat them with all kinds of Scripture. I will ALWAYS love on that person. I will ALWAYS encourage that person, I will ALWAYS hang out with them if I'm so inclined to, I will ALWAYS show the love of the Father to them. I will ALWAYS speak life into them. I will ALWAYS speak truth into them WITH love and NOT condemnation.

Trust me. They are WELL aware of what the Bible says...because they have heard it enough times. They got the message loud and clear. Those Scriptures that people yell at them are like white noise to them at this point. Because from what I can see and gather, those Scriptures people throw at them are not done with love.

I know that the Supreme Court in the U.S. has ruled that same-sex couples have the right to marry in all 50 states. I know that there are more than a few people who are unhappy about that as it goes directly against what God has intended.

Here's my advice to those who are unhappy about the SCOTUS ruling: LET THEM.

That's right. You heard me. Let them. Let them get married. Let them be in love. Let them adopt kids. Let them be one with us [and by 'us' I mean those who are NOT part of the LGBTQ community]. Just let them BE.

By holding tightly to the lovely Scriptures about how homosexuality is a sin and whatever else, you are, and this is my opinion, demoralizing them as an INDIVIDUAL. An individual, mind you, that God had created in their mamas' wombs. There is no need to browbeat them. There is no need to cast judgement on them. There is no need to gather petitions to appeal what the Supreme Court has ruled [and if you send me those kinds of petitions, I shall place them in the trash]. 

All they want is to be LOVED. And isn't that what we all want? To love and be loved? Isn't that what we all NEED? Love is not a privilege, it's a basic human right/need.

I have this friend who is questioning their sexuality [actually they pretty much know what they are]. We have gotten into many conversations about it through text messaging. MANY conversations. I won't go into detail about them as they are pretty private but I just felt honoured that they chose me to confide in. The thing about our many conversations is that they want to do right by God. That's the one thread that's been crystal clear. They love God and they want to do right by Him. The only thing that is keeping them from pursuing God wholeheartedly is the 'Christian society' placing THEIR condemnation on them. And it's so heartbreaking when we talk about this. SO HEARTBREAKING. Because I don't know what to tell them, and then I feel helpless. It doesn't help when they tell me that others have said this to them: "Repent or suffer the consequences."

WOW. I really feel the love in THAT statement. NOT. To use one of the expressions used by one of my fellow intercessors at my church, it made me want to put on my boots for THAT one.

It really sucks because no amount of encouragement I give my friend, no matter how accepting I am of them, and no matter how much I love on them, none of that will ever be louder than the condemning words used by many Christians with regards to homosexuality. 

Where's the love, people? Okay. You don't believe in gay marriage or the homosexual lifestyle. That's completely okay. Just love those who do/are. Don't be judgemental of them; LOVE them. Don't say horrible things like the statement above. That helps NOBODY...and it only serves to drive them away from the Lover of all lovers.

I think it's good that SCOTUS has allowed gay marriage in all fifty states. I don't agree with their ruling, but I think it's good. Everybody deserves to get married, and if we took away that from a select group of people, what else would we take away from them? Their adopting of children? Their right to an education? The right to VOTE? No, that would be so wrong, especially since ISIS is doing exactly that over in the Middle East [killing people left, right, and center, simply because they don't like the colour of their shoes...well, you get my drift].

As somebody is consumed by God's love right now, I don't think that that's right. God's love is MIGHTY. His love is the best thing in the world. We love because He first loved us. He is the relentless Lover.

And as a Lover, I don't think He wants us to shame and condemn people for their lifestyle. I'd rather love on them and find out their stories than heap condemnation upon their heads. I'd rather love on them with abandon. I'd rather love on them and speak life into their spirits and souls.

The hashtag on Twitter for the SCOTUS ruling is #LoveWins.

Love HASN'T won. Not by a long shot. We are still too preoccupied on how WE - Christians - want others to act. I think that's where we went wrong. We don't love them. Not completely. Not wholeheartedly. I think we are so hung up on homosexuality that we tend to forget that it's not about WHAT they are...but rather it's about WHO they are. Who does GOD see them as? What does HE think of them, not as a homosexual, but as an INDIVIDUAL?

You don't support gay marriage/relationships? Okay. That's fine. But I'm going to love people where they are at and NOT where *I* want them to be at. It's not about me, after all. It's about love and it's about the Lover of all lovers.

I follow a bunch of LGBTQ campaigns on Twitter: the NOH8 Campaign, the It Gets Better Project, and The Trevor Project. I do. Because I can definitely get behind people who are empowering other people to be who they are. I have no qualms about supporting these campaigns/organizations.

I'm going to let you all in on a not-so-secret secret: Homosexuality is not on my radar of things to worry about, I'm not losing sleep over it, and the fact that there are same-sex couples everywhere doesn't faze me in the least.

To those in the LGBTQ community who happen to stumble onto this post:

As somebody in the Christian faith, I am so sorry for pushing you down and for making you feel as if you were worthless. I'm so sorry for passing judgement instead of extending love. I'm so sorry for pushing you back instead of enveloping you with love. I'm sorry for what others in my faith have put you through. You are beautiful. You are lovable. You are loved. You have so much to give.

Day 6: Sound off on the quote, “Every woman has the exact love life she wants.”

My beloved late cat, Muffy [has nothing to do with this post]

So today, for Day 6, Mandy wanted us to sound off on this quote: "Every woman has the exact love life she wants." Apparently this is a quote from "The Wedding Date". This will prove difficult seeing as although I did see the movie, I don't remember this quote [so I don't really know what context this was spoken in]. 

So I had to look for it on YouTube and while it was smack dab in the middle of the trailer preview, I kind of got the gist of it.

Sound off on the quote, “Every woman has the exact love life she wants.”

Your love life, or lack thereof, is that way because you CHOSE it [is what one of the characters told the main character]. Even as I'm writing these words, I have to admit that it is mainly true...in my life at least.

I don't wear makeup. I have LOTS of it but I don't wear it; I don't know HOW to wear it. Thinking of that quote, is it POSSIBLE that the reason my Prince Charming is not here by my side is because I don't WANT one right now? Because let's face it; if I start wearing makeup and get some beauty treatments done [aka NOT plastic surgery!!!] the opposite sex is going to notice me. Probably. Maybe. If I start to put a little more effort, okay a LOT more effort, into my clothing choices the opposite sex MIGHT notice me.

Maybe, just MAYBE, I don't really want Prince Charming to sweep me off my feet at this moment, at this point, in my life? After all, I DO have a comfortable life right now. I live in a nice house, in a nice neighbourhood, with some nice people. I go to a fabulous church. I have fabulous friends. Even though I'm currently unemployed, I don't let that get me down. I have two awesome pets [a tabby calico, Maxie, and a Shih Tzu, Chandler]. I have a good family. The list goes on and on.

Not to mention that I ADORE being on my own. I don't have to share a bed, I don't have to share closet space, I don't have to hear snoring [other than my mom and dog], and I DEFINITELY do NOT have to watch all kinds of sporting events [praise the LORD!!!]. I can watch what I want, and I do have my shows I watch [amongst them: Scandal, Once Upon a Time, Revenge, Nashville, GENERAL HOSPITAL, etc, etc]. I like my routines. I like how I can stay up late and I LOVE how I can sleep in. I love my life.

More than that, I absolutely LOVE the fact I can blossom in my relationship with God and I can rely on Him to take care of me and protect me. I LOVE how I can consult with Him on every decision I'm thinking of making [and there are a few big ones right now]. I do believe He likes this as well.

But then, if I CHOSE my life and it didn't choose me, I'm also saying I'M responsible for what happens. And man, that sucks. Maybe I AM too comfortable and maybe I AM too set in my ways. Maybe I NEED to switch my life up more. Maybe God IS nudging me to take that first big, scary, step.

For now, though, until God tells me otherwise, I'm fully embracing my lack of a love life because one day, I'm believing this, I won't have it anymore.

The Single Woman's 30-Day Blogging Challenge - Day 1

So since it's been WAY too long since my last entry, I decided to challenge myself. A few months back, I picked up a copy of what is quickly becoming one of my favourite books, "The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass". Okay, admission time. I originally bought this book because of the author's name, MANDY. Then I read the title. It sounded pretty cool because honestly? Sometimes I hate Facebook with the constant updates of my friends who are either a) getting into a relationship, b) getting engaged, or c) wedding photos [I love you all]. I look at everyone falling in love, making plans for the future, and I just think, "What about ME? Where is MY Prince Charming?"

But then God puts things in perspective for me. He gives me little signs saying that I haven't been overlooked, that He does have someone in mind for me, and that my prince WILL come.

This book, this self-help book on singlehood that is written by this radical woman, shows you that, even though you WANT love, being single is not a curse but rather this awesomely fantastic adventure just WAITING for you to explore it.

That said, on the first of October, or close to the beginning of October, she had issued a fun challenge on her blog to ask a question EVERY DAY for 30 days on your blog. Challenge accepted. I'm going to do my best to answer the questions HONESTLY as each day comes. I'm going to try to do this every day of November [yes, I'm well aware that it's technically the 2nd, but I won't count it].

Okay, let's begin!!

Your response to everyone’s favorite question: “And why are YOU still single?”

Thankfully, I can count on one hand how many times people have asked me this. I forget what my answer was, but I'm proud to say that I definitely know what to say next time, if there's a next time, I'm asked. The answer is this: I'm still single not because something is terribly wrong with me, but that I'm still immature in some ways. How can I enter into something so sacred, and so mature, if I'm immature? I'm nowhere NEAR ready for a relationship right now.

Another reason is that God still has some work to do inside me and through me. How can I enter into a relationship when I'm constantly wondering who I am?  Am I this Mandie, am I THAT Mandie? I never had a boyfriend, I have never been out on a date, and I have never been kissed. I believe that God is saving me from a whole lot of heartbreak by not sending Prince Charming my way. If I want to enter into a relationship, I should know how to BE in a relationship. The only way to learn how to be the PERFECT significant other for someone, in my opinion, is to spend time with the Father of all fathers so that HE can tell you who you are and what you're about. Relationships are all about intimacy and trust.

So that's why I'm still single. I'm not ready for a relationship. I am too immature for one right now. I NEED to cultivate my relationship with God FIRST before I can even contemplate entering into a relationship with someone.

faithful friday: do not awaken love...

See the above photo? I want that. There, I said it. I want to be cherished, loved, adored, etc., etc. I am almost done reading the book, Remember Me?, when inspiration struck and I'm now know what I'm writing. To give a brief synopsis: This young woman, Lexi Smart, remembers absolutely nothing about her life for the past three years when she is involved in a car accident. She wakes up from a coma thinking it's 2004. In reality, it's 2007. So throughout the book, she learns all about her life for the past three years and it's a pretty charmed life: she's got the amazing pad [house], she's got the husband, she's got the dream job...only she doesn't remember ANY of it. Then, once she thinks she's ready to settle in for the long haul, she runs into this person who makes her wonder just how charmed her life really is.


I would love to be completely swept off my feet by my very own Prince Charming. I LOVE weddings. I LOVE celebrity weddings. I LOVE friends' weddings. I LOVE seeing my friends fall in love.


I, on the other hand, am single. I have never had a boyfriend, I have never been kissed, I have never been on a date. I have had crushes. Crushes on celebrities was always my go-to romantic daydreams. I always had crushes on them because I KNEW that they were unattainable. Then, one day, something happened. I began to have a crush on a friend of mine [the person SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS].


Almost immediately I rebuked those feelings away because, in the place I was in at the time, I thought that he could not possibly be what I thought was happening. Only, he was. I was crushing on him hard. But I don't want to talk about that.


After five or six long, hard, years of going absolutely crazy inside, something happened.  God began to take me through a process of getting over him. And I did. It helped too that at the very beginning, I had asked God that, if he wasn't the one for me, to hold my heart in His hands so it wouldn't break into a million pieces. And God was true to my plea. I got over him. YAY!


This year, 2012, has been tough lately in this department for me. All my friends seem to be finding their Prince/Princess Charmings right now. And I began to feel like God had forgotten about me when it came to love. It got so bad that I was seriously thinking of bowing out of my friends' wedding last month. All that changed when a woman, Bonnie, in my church talked to me after church intercession a few days before the wedding and she had asked if I was wanting to fall in love. I told her that yes, I was wanting to fall in love and she started to speak into my life about him, how he was going to complement me in  my ministry and that he may not be in our city, maybe Toronto, or wherever, but God was working on him. That made my entire day and I would've told her what I was going through, but because of what I've been feeling, I didn't trust myself to talk. That, even though we were taught NOT to prophesy mates over people in our church's prophetic class, was the confirmation I was looking for. And needed to hear. That comforts me even now. And yes, I DID go to my friends' wedding and it was the cutest wedding that I have ever witnessed. They're forever Young [his last name and her new one].


Hearing the words flow from Bonnie's mouth has held me steadfast in my relationship with God. Now I am so happy and comfortable being single for however long God wants me to be. I'm now just beginning to understand the privilege of setting my singleness aside for Him, to learn how to be a lover of Jesus so that I can be the perfect lover to my husband. I'm just now realizing the awesomeness of being single and getting to spend all my time with the greatest Lover. I'm just realizing now the privilege of being taught on how to be the perfect wife so that I can be the perfect wife to my husband, whomever he may be.


I expect that some days will be hard, especially with the enemy skulking around just waiting for a chance to ruin my day, but I don't care. Whenever I want to be romanced, God has me read Song of Solomon 4: 1-15. Yeah, it may sound weird, the words, but hearing it from the Lover's lips? It's beautifully intense and I just swoon whenever I read it.


I am finally at the place where I just don't care whether I have someone or not. Okay, so maybe that's not exactly true. BUT...I AM in the place where I really don't care that I'm the single woman out in my life. I really don't. Because...for right now, I'm happy and content to find out who I am and what my thing is in life that God wants me to be. And, yes, I am most definitely happy to be single for the moment so that I can spend this time falling more and more in love with the Father.