servanthood saturday: silent no more

I had this entire blog post planned out, some of it has already been written and saved in draft form when God came and uprooted EVERYTHING. I would normally shy away from topics such as this one because it is a touchy subject and I know more than a few people who are a part of this unique community, LGBTQ. But I feel that I needed to make a stance on this for the future. Why? I don't know. Only God knows and He's not letting me in on it yet.

So this is how it's going to be. I'm going to tell you EXACTLY what I think of the LGBT community. I will share what I feel in my heart...and you can either take it or leave it.

So much has been said about equality for ALL people, no matter who they are. I believe that. So much has also been said AGAINST this very issue simply because of what it says in the Bible...and I believe that as well.

So here's what I believe: I don't support same-sex marriages and I don't really care for that lifestyle. Actually, to be perfectly honest, I'm kind of ambivalent on this.

BUT

I will never, EVER, condemn another person for having that kind of lifestyle. I will never, EVER, go out of my way to make that particular person feel less than human for having that kind of lifestyle. I will never, EVER, 'preach' to that particular person about what the Bible says. I will never, EVER, browbeat them with all kinds of Scripture. I will ALWAYS love on that person. I will ALWAYS encourage that person, I will ALWAYS hang out with them if I'm so inclined to, I will ALWAYS show the love of the Father to them. I will ALWAYS speak life into them. I will ALWAYS speak truth into them WITH love and NOT condemnation.

Trust me. They are WELL aware of what the Bible says...because they have heard it enough times. They got the message loud and clear. Those Scriptures that people yell at them are like white noise to them at this point. Because from what I can see and gather, those Scriptures people throw at them are not done with love.

I know that the Supreme Court in the U.S. has ruled that same-sex couples have the right to marry in all 50 states. I know that there are more than a few people who are unhappy about that as it goes directly against what God has intended.

Here's my advice to those who are unhappy about the SCOTUS ruling: LET THEM.

That's right. You heard me. Let them. Let them get married. Let them be in love. Let them adopt kids. Let them be one with us [and by 'us' I mean those who are NOT part of the LGBTQ community]. Just let them BE.

By holding tightly to the lovely Scriptures about how homosexuality is a sin and whatever else, you are, and this is my opinion, demoralizing them as an INDIVIDUAL. An individual, mind you, that God had created in their mamas' wombs. There is no need to browbeat them. There is no need to cast judgement on them. There is no need to gather petitions to appeal what the Supreme Court has ruled [and if you send me those kinds of petitions, I shall place them in the trash]. 

All they want is to be LOVED. And isn't that what we all want? To love and be loved? Isn't that what we all NEED? Love is not a privilege, it's a basic human right/need.

I have this friend who is questioning their sexuality [actually they pretty much know what they are]. We have gotten into many conversations about it through text messaging. MANY conversations. I won't go into detail about them as they are pretty private but I just felt honoured that they chose me to confide in. The thing about our many conversations is that they want to do right by God. That's the one thread that's been crystal clear. They love God and they want to do right by Him. The only thing that is keeping them from pursuing God wholeheartedly is the 'Christian society' placing THEIR condemnation on them. And it's so heartbreaking when we talk about this. SO HEARTBREAKING. Because I don't know what to tell them, and then I feel helpless. It doesn't help when they tell me that others have said this to them: "Repent or suffer the consequences."

WOW. I really feel the love in THAT statement. NOT. To use one of the expressions used by one of my fellow intercessors at my church, it made me want to put on my boots for THAT one.

It really sucks because no amount of encouragement I give my friend, no matter how accepting I am of them, and no matter how much I love on them, none of that will ever be louder than the condemning words used by many Christians with regards to homosexuality. 

Where's the love, people? Okay. You don't believe in gay marriage or the homosexual lifestyle. That's completely okay. Just love those who do/are. Don't be judgemental of them; LOVE them. Don't say horrible things like the statement above. That helps NOBODY...and it only serves to drive them away from the Lover of all lovers.

I think it's good that SCOTUS has allowed gay marriage in all fifty states. I don't agree with their ruling, but I think it's good. Everybody deserves to get married, and if we took away that from a select group of people, what else would we take away from them? Their adopting of children? Their right to an education? The right to VOTE? No, that would be so wrong, especially since ISIS is doing exactly that over in the Middle East [killing people left, right, and center, simply because they don't like the colour of their shoes...well, you get my drift].

As somebody is consumed by God's love right now, I don't think that that's right. God's love is MIGHTY. His love is the best thing in the world. We love because He first loved us. He is the relentless Lover.

And as a Lover, I don't think He wants us to shame and condemn people for their lifestyle. I'd rather love on them and find out their stories than heap condemnation upon their heads. I'd rather love on them with abandon. I'd rather love on them and speak life into their spirits and souls.

The hashtag on Twitter for the SCOTUS ruling is #LoveWins.

Love HASN'T won. Not by a long shot. We are still too preoccupied on how WE - Christians - want others to act. I think that's where we went wrong. We don't love them. Not completely. Not wholeheartedly. I think we are so hung up on homosexuality that we tend to forget that it's not about WHAT they are...but rather it's about WHO they are. Who does GOD see them as? What does HE think of them, not as a homosexual, but as an INDIVIDUAL?

You don't support gay marriage/relationships? Okay. That's fine. But I'm going to love people where they are at and NOT where *I* want them to be at. It's not about me, after all. It's about love and it's about the Lover of all lovers.

I follow a bunch of LGBTQ campaigns on Twitter: the NOH8 Campaign, the It Gets Better Project, and The Trevor Project. I do. Because I can definitely get behind people who are empowering other people to be who they are. I have no qualms about supporting these campaigns/organizations.

I'm going to let you all in on a not-so-secret secret: Homosexuality is not on my radar of things to worry about, I'm not losing sleep over it, and the fact that there are same-sex couples everywhere doesn't faze me in the least.

To those in the LGBTQ community who happen to stumble onto this post:

As somebody in the Christian faith, I am so sorry for pushing you down and for making you feel as if you were worthless. I'm so sorry for passing judgement instead of extending love. I'm so sorry for pushing you back instead of enveloping you with love. I'm sorry for what others in my faith have put you through. You are beautiful. You are lovable. You are loved. You have so much to give.

it's not about the money, money, money...

This is one of my banks. Isn't it cute?

I did a stupid thing. I did a REALLY stupid thing. I racked up thousands of dollars on my credit cards and now I am thousands of dollars in debt. 

Oh, sure, my mom is bailing me out by paying off my Visa to which I am eternally grateful, and all I have to do is pay off my MasterCard which is maxed out as well but I still. It doesn't change the fact that I am thousands of dollars in debt. I'm sure you're sitting there, thinking, "Why on earth would you do such a thing?" And the answer would be, "I don't know." Seems like a pat answer but it's the truth. In fact, I used to shake my head reading about those stories about people who have gotten themselves into debt by the thousands and their only answer was "I don't know how this happened." Now I AM one of those people and I can tell you right now that that answer is the truth. I DON'T know how it happened and I had NO idea it would get so bad. 

The reason for my debt? The most convenient way of shopping: online. See, when you shop online, especially for somebody who sucks badly at math, you don't seem to remember that the card you are using for your purchases belongs to somebody else and that you will need to pay them back somehow. You don't think about the interest rate on the card if you don't pay the full balance off, and you certainly don't care about the credit limit [well, actually, you do. But not much].

Yes. I am a shopaholic and I am paying for it dearly. So I am going on a sort of "fast". I won't have as much money since I will be using the majority of my funds to pay off my card and funds will be somewhat tight for the next several months. One thing you should know is that this is not voluntary. My mother is making me do this, which is good because clearly I have been right all along when I have been saying that numbers hate me [and the feeling is mutual, I must confess].

Lying awake one night thinking about this new adventure, God spoke to me and said, "You know what? It's going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay."

I'm choosing too believe what HE says because everything God says is truth. He speaks no lies. Hey, even with my debt that had amassed over the months I had always managed to pay my bills on time. Sure, I had been naive enough to think I was making a difference in my credit card bills, but I still paid more than the minimum amount. It didn't make a lick of difference, I found out this week, but live and learn.

So I have been spending my money foolishly. I admit that. But you know what? I'm going to keep holding on to Daddy God and choose to believe that everything is going to be okay. You know how my mom found out about my mess? God told her to go look for my cards. No joke. This was after seeking His face asking Him for help with my financial crisis for weeks and weeks. Okay, I had this idea in my head that I would somehow be given the money supernaturally so that my mom wouldn't find out, but I suppose this will have to do.

You would think that I'd be full of shame of what I did but you would be wrong. I felt bad about it, yes, I felt absolutely alone and scared to admit what had happened, yes. But you know what? That shame that I had felt when my mom found out, that embarrassed feeling I was carrying for so long? It's gone. It's GONE and I think that's part of the reason why God is wanting me to blog about this. Because with this public post, where EVERYBODY can read it, the enemy has no stronghold over me. Everything I'm going though is out in the open and I am walking in the light. He can't control me with this anymore. Not only that, but now I am accountable to people. 

During intercession today at church, one of my friends, and I am so blessed I can say that she's a friend, shared her status on a Facebook page that she has, Fast Track to Freedom:

"I love how the owner told the servant not to Pull the bad seed out that the enemy planted in the night but let the both of them grow up together and when it was harvest time he could separate the two...right now there's a separation going on in our lives from things that may not be good for your life and things that are really good for your life so just keep moving forward because it's harvest time.
God bless you with this word."

Isn't that beautiful? It was just the confirmation I needed to hear that everything WILL be okay. The harvest is happening and Daddy God knew that what had been going on in secret for MONTHS needed to be weeded out so that only the good He has for me can remain when this is all over. Thank you God!! You know what else? Even though I made foolish mistakes and even though I have spent money foolishly I have repented for that in front of God. I have. I have repented for it and now I am free. I know that I know that I know that He will "give back what I have lost to the swarming locusts" [Joel 2:25, NLT]. Do I deserve having back what money I had spent foolishly? Probably not. But hey. I didn't deserve to have an innocent Man be put to death for MY sins all those years ago either but here we are. 

Onwards and upwards, as they say. I can rest easy now knowing what I had done in secret is now out in the light and the enemy won't be able to use it against me any longer.

I am free.

o christmas tree...

I recently got this unique picture in my head of Jesus and us. I love to stir the pot, so this made me especially happy in regard to those people who think Christmas trees are pagan. And they would be right. But I don't want to talk about that. I'd rather talk about my picture. Because it's cool.

So I had this image of a gloriously decorated Christmas tree. It was so beautiful and crisp. The colors were outstanding and it was so mesmerizing. It was unlike any Christmas tree I have ever seen before. It was brightly lit and so inviting.

Underneath the tree, there were all these beautifully wrapped presents. Big ones, small ones, fat ones, skinny ones, all shapes and sizes the presents were. And each and every one of them were wrapped with such care and love. You could tell.

Now, from what I got from it, it was like Jesus is that beautifully decorated tree. He's so beautiful and awesome and there are no descriptive words in all the world to fully describe Jesus Christ. He's that amazing! When you look at a Christmas tree, you just have to smile because to me, personally, it represents love, giving, and wonder. Just to name a few.

And the beautiful presents that were wrapped with such care and love? That's us. We are all beautiful. We all have something to offer the world. We all come in different shapes and sizes, but we all are a gift unto the world...just like Jesus was the gift unto us. And I believe that the presents lying underneath the tree represented us lying beneath Jesus. When we take the time to lie in His presence, we also get a bit of His wonderful, beautiful majesty.

Have you ever noticed that when a tree isn't lit, it's not as pretty as it is when it's lit up? Even the presents don't look as nice! We are called to be the light of the world. How can we be the light if we are never turned on? If our Light, who is Jesus, doesn't shine through us by our own flesh, then it's like we are just like everybody else, basically [and everybody else is beautiful too by the way].

So let your light shine! Be reminded of Jesus and how, when we get into His presence we also shine a bit more brighter, when you spot a Christmas tree!

I don't know about you, but I'm taking back the Christmas tree from those pagans.