Day 6: Sound off on the quote, “Every woman has the exact love life she wants.”

My beloved late cat, Muffy [has nothing to do with this post]

So today, for Day 6, Mandy wanted us to sound off on this quote: "Every woman has the exact love life she wants." Apparently this is a quote from "The Wedding Date". This will prove difficult seeing as although I did see the movie, I don't remember this quote [so I don't really know what context this was spoken in]. 

So I had to look for it on YouTube and while it was smack dab in the middle of the trailer preview, I kind of got the gist of it.

Sound off on the quote, “Every woman has the exact love life she wants.”

Your love life, or lack thereof, is that way because you CHOSE it [is what one of the characters told the main character]. Even as I'm writing these words, I have to admit that it is mainly true...in my life at least.

I don't wear makeup. I have LOTS of it but I don't wear it; I don't know HOW to wear it. Thinking of that quote, is it POSSIBLE that the reason my Prince Charming is not here by my side is because I don't WANT one right now? Because let's face it; if I start wearing makeup and get some beauty treatments done [aka NOT plastic surgery!!!] the opposite sex is going to notice me. Probably. Maybe. If I start to put a little more effort, okay a LOT more effort, into my clothing choices the opposite sex MIGHT notice me.

Maybe, just MAYBE, I don't really want Prince Charming to sweep me off my feet at this moment, at this point, in my life? After all, I DO have a comfortable life right now. I live in a nice house, in a nice neighbourhood, with some nice people. I go to a fabulous church. I have fabulous friends. Even though I'm currently unemployed, I don't let that get me down. I have two awesome pets [a tabby calico, Maxie, and a Shih Tzu, Chandler]. I have a good family. The list goes on and on.

Not to mention that I ADORE being on my own. I don't have to share a bed, I don't have to share closet space, I don't have to hear snoring [other than my mom and dog], and I DEFINITELY do NOT have to watch all kinds of sporting events [praise the LORD!!!]. I can watch what I want, and I do have my shows I watch [amongst them: Scandal, Once Upon a Time, Revenge, Nashville, GENERAL HOSPITAL, etc, etc]. I like my routines. I like how I can stay up late and I LOVE how I can sleep in. I love my life.

More than that, I absolutely LOVE the fact I can blossom in my relationship with God and I can rely on Him to take care of me and protect me. I LOVE how I can consult with Him on every decision I'm thinking of making [and there are a few big ones right now]. I do believe He likes this as well.

But then, if I CHOSE my life and it didn't choose me, I'm also saying I'M responsible for what happens. And man, that sucks. Maybe I AM too comfortable and maybe I AM too set in my ways. Maybe I NEED to switch my life up more. Maybe God IS nudging me to take that first big, scary, step.

For now, though, until God tells me otherwise, I'm fully embracing my lack of a love life because one day, I'm believing this, I won't have it anymore.

Day 5: The biggest misconception you think people have about single life

Evening Sunset

So Day 5. I have to admit that I ALMOST forgot about this entry. Almost. So without further ado, here's today's entry. Enjoy!

The biggest misconception you think people have about single life.

I think the biggest misconception people MAY have about being single is that there's something wrong with them. Like, for instance, if you're young and cute but still single, people might think there's something wrong with your personality or whatever. I don't know! I never pay attention to this kind of stuff. LOL!

For me, the misconceptions are that people who are single are boring, unlovable, ugly, and DESPERATE.

And I just want to make an announcement that that just ain't cool. Being single does not mean you are boring, unlovable, ugly, and/or desperate. Rather, think of your singlehood as being protected and guarded by the God of the heavens and earth. CELEBRATE it. Get out there and live out loud. I'm 30 and I am happily single. Not because I actively went out of my way to be single, I actually am praying for my Prince Charming, but because I am realizing that my singlehood is only but a fleeting moment in life. I realize that this is MY time. I can do whatever it is I want to do. The world is my oyster and I don't have to answer to anybody [as of yet].

Am I living the life I want? No, I am not but I am definitely taking tiny baby steps in getting there, and it's a lot easier now then it probably would be if I did have a significant other.

So, single women everywhere, if you are single and you are currently in a funk about it - and I should know, I have had a few of those funks too - don't worry about it. Your Prince Charming is somewhere. God Himself will give you the desires of your hearts. He sees you, and He hears you.

Here's what Mandy had to say on her Day 5.

where I am, from where I've been

Yeah, I did that!!

So I don't know if any of you are aware that the url of my blog has changed. If you did notice, good for you! You get a cookie! If you didn't, allow me to point out that before it read fool4christ.blogspot.com but now I've since changed it to faithsfollower.blogspot.com.

Let me explain. It started right around the time my favourite television show at the time, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, made the jump from the WB network to the network, UPN [both are now long gone]. The official site for Buffy was shutting down because it was owned by the WB so all of us fans were pretty much running around with our heads cut off because we were losing our 'home'. And it was a home. I think I started watching the show during the third season. Shortly after that, I joined the fan forum at buffy.com [long since demolished]. I spent a good, solid two and a half years there. I met a wide range of people and I had established a place where I belonged. Then the news came that the WB was dropping Buffy. So we all started wondering what the heck was going on and how would we keep our 'home' and all that stuff.

Finally, somebody had the good sense of creating a new home. So I joined up and at first it was weird, considering I wasn't used to that format, but I made do. And it turned out that I LOVED it. I established a home and a place of where I belonged for the second time. But enough of that.

When I joined my second home I had to have a user name. So I joined using my name from my first home. But...the name I had was in honour of this character on the show, and I no longer liked him. So I had to think of something else. Around this time, me and some other girls were in some sort of clique on the message board and we all really liked this other character. Her name was Faith. So then I decided to get a Faith-centric name and the name I chose was...FaithsFollower.

Little did I know back then how prophetic it would be. Little did I know back then just how impacting that name would become in later years. Indeed, I am now faith's follower. I am now a follower of my faith, the faith that is the same as Jesus Christ of Nazareth. I COULD say that I am a follower of Jesus Christ, and that would be the honest truth. But just saying I am a follower of Christ could be construed as stating my 'religion'. I am not religious AT ALL. In fact, I intensely dislike religion. To me, religion is man-made rules and regulations. 

I am a Christian. But I don't consider that my religion; I consider it my FAITH. I have learned a lot since I first made up the screen name, FaithsFollower, and I have come to the realization that the name I had chosen way back when, the name I had chosen on a lark, was not at all accidental.

I am me, and I am faith's follower.

Day 4: Your biggest fear as a single person.

Me

Okay, so today, Day 4, is a doozy of a question, and one in which the person who answers will get very, very REAL. I am not looking forward to answering it. Really. Because this question is one where I have to confront my wide open future and just let go. So...without further ado, here's today's answer.

Your biggest fear as a single person.

As far as today goes, I honestly can say I have no fears whatsoever about being single. I'm in a good place right now, and I'm still learning a lot about myself and I'm learning how to maintain a relationship [via my personal relationship with my God]. I'm feeling healthy and great, I have a good life, and I'm thankful I live in a country where I have the absolute freedom to do what I want with no consequences.

But my biggest fear as a single person...wow. That's HUGE. And kind of scary. Because I don't like to think about it, and I don't even like to think about it. This has plagued me on and off for quite some time now and usually I push it out of my head and it's gone. But it's back in full force now and I absolutely hate it. I like to think of myself as somebody without fear, but honestly? We ALL have fear no matter who we are or what we do.

That said, my BIGGEST fear as a single person is winding up alone and then dying alone. THAT is my biggest fear. I look around and I see my friends all getting married, or engaged, or entering into a serious relationship and then I start to feel anxious because my Prince Charming hasn't shown up yet and I start to wonder if he ever will. What if he doesn't? What if God doesn't WANT me to meet someone? What if I wind up alone? What if I die alone?

But then...but THEN I see or hear something that totally confirms to me that God DOES care about me indeed! And I breathe a sigh of relief. Because He has somebody for me. Sure it's taking a long time, but I know that everything will be okay, that God HIMSELF has the right person in mind for me. And I'm okay with that, with the WAIT. Maybe God needs to fine-tune both me and him so when we do meet, if we haven't already, it will be one awesomely amazing and crazy adventure.

So whenever I feel down on myself for not having Prince Charming, I just give it all to God: my fears, my 'what ifs', my anxiousness, my frustrations...the list goes on and on. Because then He can deal with it, not me, and I can keep on living and loving. A few of my favourite verses are in the Book of Jeremiah, chapter 29, verses 11-13:

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me." - New Living Translation

Those verses make me feel happy and give me the warm fuzzies because God DOES have a plan for me and He will NEVER let me go. NEVER.

Another favourite verse is found in the Psalms [Chapter 121, verse 8]:

"The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forever." - New American Standard Bible

I LOVE this verse because it rings so true in my life. When I look back on my lack of a love life, I can truly see that the Lord has, indeed, guarded me. I have never been kissed, I have never had a boyfriend, and I had never been out on a date. I believe that all that was designed by God to GUARD me and to keep me safe for whatever reason. I may not know what His plan was at the time, but I know that it will work in my favour in the future.

Isn't that awesome?!


Here's what Mandy had to say on HER blog. See you tomorrow!

Day 3: Describe a moment or a day when being single was really awesome.

Me on Christmas morning

Okay, another post! So far, I'm sticking to the challenge. But it IS only the third day. Pray that it continues. LOL! Here we go!


Describe a moment or a day when being single was really awesome.

There has been LOTS of these moments. LOTS of them.

The ministry school I was a part of back in 2006 is under the branch of its church, Catch the Fire Toronto. Throughout the year, Catch the Fire Toronto has conferences, schools, and other fun stuff for people to come and take part in. Being single, having no significant other, having NO familial responsibilities, allows me to take in a few conferences here and there without feeling guilty. I don't have anything to tie me down. 

Same goes for when I buy tickets online to go to various concerts in Toronto or just having a wee visit in the city. Being single ALLOWS me to do all that without feeling like I'm neglecting my boyfriend or family [since I have neither]. Being single allows me to bob along the pathway of independence, stopping here and there to smell the roses, go at my own pace, take some time to really learn who I am and, of course, to cultivate an intimate relationship with my Daddy God so that I CAN have the BEST relationship possible with my Prince Charming when the time comes, since I will know who I am and what I stand for.

Now don't get me wrong: I think having families and/or significant others are an EQUALLY amazing adventures. But it's a new dynamic. You aren't just thinking of yourself anymore. You have other people to think of, not to mention little humans who depend on you for everything. Which is why I'm starting to cherish my singlehood. It gives me time to be selfish, and hopefully, when the day Prince Charming arrives in my life, I will be able to give myself selflessly to him AND to our future [whether it includes little humans or not].

Stay tuned for tomorrow! I can't wait to see what my heart says next. Here's what the challenger of this 30-day blogging challenge had to say about HER Day 3.

Day 2: Describe a moment or a day when being single really sucked

Not one of my best fashionable outfits

Okay! It's time for Day 2 of this blogging challenge I accepted. Thank you for following along with me as I go through this. I'm anticipating on learning some new things about myself.

Describe a moment or a day when being single really sucked.

There have been TOO many of these moments. LOL! But, if I HAVE to choose just one, it would be the weddings of my friends. [okay, so it's two]. There's nothing more depressing than celebrating the union of two people you care about while you haven't even been on a date. Of course I was, and am, happy for them. But it still sucked knowing I didn't have a special person in my life.

But then, I come to realize that weddings are probabaly a bit of a downer for single people [especially women]. Now don't get me wrong; I LOVE weddings. Especially celebrity weddings. I love flipping through a bridal magazine, looking at all the beautiful bouquets, rings, honeymoon ideas, and, oh my gosh, those DRESSES. I LOVED both of my friends' weddings. They were both amazing.

But when I watched my friends come down the aisle toward their beloveds on their wedding days, it was a beautiful thing, and yet I couldn't help but be reminded YET AGAIN that my Prince Charming wasn't there by my side [yet]. But he's coming. I KNOW he is.


Okay, so I'm finished for the day! Hope you enjoyed this post, I do apologize for it not being as interesting as it probably could've been.  

Oh, if you wish, you can follow along on Mandy Hale's blog as well. Here's her post for Day 1 and for Day 2.

The Single Woman's 30-Day Blogging Challenge - Day 1

So since it's been WAY too long since my last entry, I decided to challenge myself. A few months back, I picked up a copy of what is quickly becoming one of my favourite books, "The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass". Okay, admission time. I originally bought this book because of the author's name, MANDY. Then I read the title. It sounded pretty cool because honestly? Sometimes I hate Facebook with the constant updates of my friends who are either a) getting into a relationship, b) getting engaged, or c) wedding photos [I love you all]. I look at everyone falling in love, making plans for the future, and I just think, "What about ME? Where is MY Prince Charming?"

But then God puts things in perspective for me. He gives me little signs saying that I haven't been overlooked, that He does have someone in mind for me, and that my prince WILL come.

This book, this self-help book on singlehood that is written by this radical woman, shows you that, even though you WANT love, being single is not a curse but rather this awesomely fantastic adventure just WAITING for you to explore it.

That said, on the first of October, or close to the beginning of October, she had issued a fun challenge on her blog to ask a question EVERY DAY for 30 days on your blog. Challenge accepted. I'm going to do my best to answer the questions HONESTLY as each day comes. I'm going to try to do this every day of November [yes, I'm well aware that it's technically the 2nd, but I won't count it].

Okay, let's begin!!

Your response to everyone’s favorite question: “And why are YOU still single?”

Thankfully, I can count on one hand how many times people have asked me this. I forget what my answer was, but I'm proud to say that I definitely know what to say next time, if there's a next time, I'm asked. The answer is this: I'm still single not because something is terribly wrong with me, but that I'm still immature in some ways. How can I enter into something so sacred, and so mature, if I'm immature? I'm nowhere NEAR ready for a relationship right now.

Another reason is that God still has some work to do inside me and through me. How can I enter into a relationship when I'm constantly wondering who I am?  Am I this Mandie, am I THAT Mandie? I never had a boyfriend, I have never been out on a date, and I have never been kissed. I believe that God is saving me from a whole lot of heartbreak by not sending Prince Charming my way. If I want to enter into a relationship, I should know how to BE in a relationship. The only way to learn how to be the PERFECT significant other for someone, in my opinion, is to spend time with the Father of all fathers so that HE can tell you who you are and what you're about. Relationships are all about intimacy and trust.

So that's why I'm still single. I'm not ready for a relationship. I am too immature for one right now. I NEED to cultivate my relationship with God FIRST before I can even contemplate entering into a relationship with someone.

faithful friday: dear woman, go make your heart happy

The title was inspired by this blog. Ever since reading it, I keep hearing the title in my head...and heart. For a long time now, my heart hasn't been happy. Or, more accurately, not as happy as it could be. I'm not depressed. I actually love my life. But...my heart is just not that happy. And I think I know why.

For quite some time now at church we've been talking about dreaming again, writing down our dreams, and taking steps to go about them. Because that is exactly what God wants us to do. He has put dreams inside all of us but circumstances and/or self-sabotage has caused us to lay them down. For me, on the other hand, it was because of hope deferred.

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life." - Proverbs 13:12 [NLT]

Okay, I am going to be really transparent and put everything out there [well, not EVERYTHING]. 

Back in 2005, God had put a dream inside of me to do...something. What, I didn't know at the time but it had something to do loving the unlovable. You can read it here. Still don't know what that means. Still don't know how it will work out.

Flash forward to 2006. A bit of revival had broken out in one of my city's local churches, Bethel Pentecostal, and they were having nightly services. During one of these services, I felt God speak into my heart about starting up a 24-7 House of Prayer [for those of you wanting to know about what a house of prayer is, I urge you to check out IHOP]. And, obviously it won't be like that. Of COURSE it won't be like that. That, too, hasn't happened yet.

But I DID go to a ministry school in 2006 as well. And it was AMAZING. It really, really was. Now, you would think that God would instill in me all kinds of plans and directions for the future, right? Yeah, I thought so too. But did He? DID HE?! No! He showed me all kinds of cool stuff and spoke beautiful things to me and over me and through me, and I learned all kinds of interesting things over the four months I was there...but not ONCE did he give me any idea of what I should do next. So there I was, with a week left of school, and I was getting desperate to what I should do after the school was over. I prayed about maybe applying for another school, but I felt that God didn't want me to apply for one. So I didn't. I applied for a few internships they had there, but unfortunately they didn't pan out, so I was stuck.

And I went home. I've been home ever since. Between then and now I've left one church, went to another one and I've been with the second one since I've left the first church and it's been crazy good and amazing and my relationship with God has increased mightily. I'm on both the Ministry and Prophetic teams and there was a season of which I was on the Worship team.

But my heart hasn't been as happy as it could be. I don't know, it feels as if I have picked up mantles of what I should be doing that have been placed by other people. I should be getting my high school diploma, I should have a job, I should do things in the traditional way, I should do this, I should do that. Okay, yes, those are ALL good things; great things even. But...I don't know. I just have this feeling deep in my spirit that I'm not meant to live my life in the 'traditional' way: got to school, graduate, find job, get married, have kids, etc, etc. Besides, why must I live my life according to other people's expectations? Why can't I just live MY life the way I want to? I don't tell others how they should live their lives, so why should mine be any different?

My dream is to go apply for an internship at the Pasadena International House of Prayer. That has been my dream for over two years now. Maybe more. This excites me more than anything. If somebody said to me that they would give me a load of money to be able to go RIGHT NOW I would do it in a heartbeat. IN A HEARTBEAT. I actually have been talking to others about this and you know what? Maybe it was false expectations or whatever else, but I just feel that nobody else is as excited as I am about this. And it's been a real toll on my heart and soul because to be honest? It's hard to be excited about something if nobody else is. But honestly? In my spirit, in my heart, and in my mind, I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is something that I need to do. Yes, it will be all the way in California, and yes, I would be away from my family, my friends, my pets, and my church family. But you know what? Staying here, in my city, being surrounded by familiar things and staying where it's comfortable? I'm NOT going to find out who I really am. I will NOT be able to grow in leaps and bounds if I stay in my comfort zone. 

This has been a source of contention between my mom and I [which is why I haven't brought it up AT ALL in a year or so]. I get disability once a month due my health issues from the government and it's called Ontario Disability Support Program and if I can't leave my province because they might cut me off and my medicine is ridiculously expensive so there would be no way to pay for them. THAT is what my mom believes. Me, I believe the opposite. When it was first brought to my attention by Holy Spirit [because who else could it be?] I went through the entire thought process myself and ended up at 'NO WAY COULD THIS EVER WORK'. But then Holy Spirit spoke to me and asked me these simple questions:

• Do you trust Me enough to lead you to where you have to go?
• Do you trust Me enough to lead you through the airports to get you to the right place at the right time? [Believe me, I went online and checked: you have to make a stop somewhere before arriving in Pasadena]
• Do you trust Me enough to provide for you while you're gone and while you're away?
• Do you trust Me enough to let this happen?
• Do you trust Me enough to make the jump?

And the answer is this: YES. Yes, yes, a million times yes! I'm more than ready and more than willing to let go of myself and just jump. I know I can do it, too. I had a vision a few years back where I was taken up to heaven and I opened a door to the outside and it was just a drop down. So I took a leap and fell...and landed on the back of this gigantic eagle [I only remembered the vision two seconds ago]. It was amazing and scary.

This may sound weird but for years I've been feeling as if I were a bird in a cage that is Ontario [because as far as ODSP is concerned, I can't do anything if I leave the boundaries of the province]. I've been watching other 'birds' fly off to Redding, California, to Australia and New Zealand, to wherever else and there I am, stuck in the cage not being able to do anything that I want. How come other people can fly but not me? I want to fly, dammit!! I WANT TO FLY. I don't know, but sometimes this ODSP feels like a chain and a curse more than a blessing. I can probably do a little research online and see what they actually say about being out of province and go from there. We'll see.

I'm just tired of having things like expectations from other people and negative feelings being spoken over me and my life. Because that can happen and while you may not see it, you DO pick it up and place it on yourself. Trust me. I KNOW. It really bites because no matter how hard I try to fight it, it just beats me down and I feel like crap, judging myself [and God] every step of the way.

This past Sunday, my pastor preached on the story in the Bible where Peter seen Jesus and got out of the boat and started walking on the water. It was crazy how Mary Jane preached on what I was feeling inside. What was even more crazy was a few seconds in, I CLEARLY heard Daddy God say, "Get out of the boat and WALK." Now, you could argue that that was a Mandie thought, but here's how I knew it was all God: My heart started pounding and a total feeling of anxiety and fear came over me. Because I knew EXACTLY what He wanted me to do and, trust me when I say this, IT IS A TOTAL LEAP OF FAITH to do what He is asking of me. But then, God often works and moves in the most inopportune of times, doesn't He?

So, I'm going to work on making my heart happy again. It's exciting and scary and nerve-wracking all at once. But I know that, as long as I hang on tight to Daddy God's hand, it will be all right. After all, as I keep hearing from several people, how do you spell FAITH? R-I-S-K.