when is murder considered murder?

I have asked people that question a lot in the past, but now, with Saddam Hussein's impending death, that question is back buzzing around in my head.

Saddam had killed lots and lots of people in the past, so that makes him a murderer, right? And, his compatriots could also be murderers by association.

Now, though, he has been sentenced to death by a judge and jury. Shouldn't they be considered murderers too by association?

Today's society has said that anyone who has killed anyone has murdered. But then you have Jesus who has said: "if you have hatred for someone then in your hearts you have already committed murder." So when you think about it, the whole world is full of murderers. Sure, a few people are acting on the impulse of killing people, but you have many, many more who have hatred in their hearts...including me.

The answer to my question, then, is murder should be considered murder whether you have hatred in your hearts or you go out and kill someone. In Jesus' eyes, both are equally bad because sin is sin is sin no matter what you do.

myspace banned: a curse into a blessing

The popular website, MySpace, was recently (and by recent, I mean last night sometime) banned on the TACF, my home church for now, server. At first I was a bit perturbed that my favourite website was banned but when I really thought about it, it came out as a blessing.

See, MySpace is so annoyingly addictive that I privately call it TheAddictingWebsite.com. I could be on that thing for hours upon hours on end. And that's why I'm sort of glad it's been banned.

I'm currently enrolled in the School of Ministry here at TACF and most of our focus should be on God and on interacting with others. That said, it's sufficed to say, I haven't been doing a lot of either. Most of my time is spent on MySpace, I'm embarrassed to say, and I'm not proud of it either. I didn't realize how much time I had spent on that stupid website until I couldn't go on anymore. I thank God for intervening and putting a stop to it. It had to be Him, because He hates it when we put other stuff before Him and put our focus elsewhere and not on Him.

So...that's how I see it. While others may be annoyed by the MySpace bannage, I prefer to see it as a curse turned into a blessing in disguise.

God is awesome!!

I got some really amazing news today: I got accepted into the School of the Heart at the TACF SoM [Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship School of Ministry]. As soon as I found out, I immediately ran into the computer room and told my mom. You can probably imagine that she was pretty excited. So am I. I can barely think of what to write, I'm so ecstatic about going. My hands is shaking as we speak. And then I emailed everybody I knew about my acceptance. I guess I should've called my friends first, but I am so overwhelmed right now that I can't speak [otherwise I'll start crying and won't stop]. Ah well. Hopefully they'll understand. This is like a belated birthday present for me, and it probably is; a birthday present from my Daddy [God].

With the excitement comes a real strong sense of fear. I am entering into a new season in my relationship with God, and like every new beginning, it's kind of nerve-wracking. I know it's crazy to be scared because God will be with me, but that's how I feel. I mean, I'll be gone for approx. 4 months and it'll be the first time I'm on my 'own', and I'm feeling nervous about it. But I know I can do it because God is with me and through Him, I can do all things. I'm an introvert by nature [but God is slowly but surely changing that] and so I'm already feeling kind of shy. All I really have to say is this:

I LOVE MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bitter and angry

I've been watching CNN's Anderson Cooper report on Hurricane Katrina practically since the day is landed on U.S. soil. I've been watching the tears, I've been watching the rescues, I've been watching the constant footage of flooded New Orleans for as long as I can remember. And the thing that gets me the most? Is the very obvious, and very blatant, disappearance of Mississippi, and other areas that've been hit the hardest as well. Where are they? Where are the kept promises about not giving up on the Gulf Coast? There is more to the Gulf than just NOLA [New Orleans, LA] you know, and while NOLA does need help still [and who wouldn't, if the city is still looking as if Katrina came tearing through the city three days ago rather than nine months] there are worse places that need attention. For instance, Biloxi and Waveland. Both in Mississippi, and both in dire need of help. Little known fact: Katrina originally was on the fast track heading for New Orleans when at the eleventh hour, it took a right and totally and [almost] completely demolished the coast of Mississippi. Yes, CNN is still reporting on the effects of Katrina, and yes, they are keeping us updated about the victims, but all of those newstories are about the Big Easy and its people. I want to know more about the other victims, the victims in Mississippi and wherever else the hurricane hit: How are they doing? Are they coming back into the swing of things? How had Katrina changed them? Precious lives have been lost, and those who've survived are still picking up the pieces of their destroyed lives and homes...literally. It's bloody ridiculous! And you know what? If a hurricane ever landed down into New York City, or L.A., or even San Francisco, help would've come within two days, if not more, and hardcore rebuilding would've started months ago.

But hey if the government, whose biggest purpose is protecting the American people, wants to act as if the Katrina Effect was a three-ring circus instead of a catastrophe then that's their choice. Then again, what do I know? I'm only Canadian. I will gladly and freely admit that I have no concept of the American government at all.

Any questions, comments, and/or observations, please email me.

boston cream...

YEAH! We have a topic to discuss and it's on Boston Cream donuts which was lovingly suggested by, uh, well, me.

Okay, so a couple days ago, I got a craving for a Boston Cream donut from the Canadian equivalent of Starbucks, in my humble opinion, which is called Timmy's. Which was weird since I never even had that kind of donut before, and no, I am not pregnant.

So, today, I finally got to have my Boston Cream, and it was gooood. On the outside, it looks like your average Chocolate Dip only without the hole in the middle [because that's where the cream is, and well, with the hole would be weird]. And you know what? I discovered that I much prefer to eat the cream without the donut-y goodness surrounding it. So I then ate the cream with one finger and then ate the donut. I loved it.

open mic with...everyone?

Okay, I know I promised to dish about everything that has happened to me in New Orleans in my next post but man, I'm not even done getting everything together yet. It was - and is - a HUGE deal for me, and so I just want to get every single little detail right so that you all can experience my trip with me.

Onto other news, this is a new thing. Since I have no idea how many peeps read this thing, I'm going to open up everything. Have something you'd like me to discuss? Please email me and I'll be happy to share my opinions and whatnot with everyone. Is that cool? You get to decide my next blog post...thing. Maybe. If I don't have my "New Orleans" post done before that.

See ya then!

my King is...

I read this while I was reading the last book of the Left Behind series [Glorious Appearing] and I thought it was awesome, so I'd just thought I'd just put it here:

"The Bible says that my king is a seven-way king. He's the king of the Jews; that's a racial king. He's the king of Israel; that's a national king. He's the king of righteousness. He's the king of the ages. He's the king of heaven. He's the king of glory. He's the king of kings. Besides being a seven-way king, He's the Lord of lords. That's my king. Well, I wonder, do you know Him?

"David said, 'The heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament showeth His handiwork.' My king is a sovereign king. No means of measure can define His limitless love. No far-seeing telescope can bring into visibility the coastline of His shoreless supply. No barrier can hinder Him from pouring out His blessings.

"He's enduringly strong. He's entirely sincere. He's eternally steadfast. He's immortally graceful. He's infinitely powerful. He's impartially merciful. Do you know Him?

"He's the greatest phenomenon that has ever crossed the horizon of this world. He's God's Son. He's the sinner's Savior. He's the centerpiece of civilization. He stands in the solitude of Himself. He's honest and He's unique. He's unparalleled. He's unprecedented.

"He is the loftiest idea in literature. He's the highest personality in philosophy. He is the supreme problem in higher criticism. He's the fundamental doctrine of true theology. He's the core, the necessity for spiritual religion. He's the miracle of the ages. Yes, He is. He's the superlative of everything good that you choose to call Him. He's the only one qualified to be our all-sufficiency. I wonder if you know Him today.

"He supplies strength to the weak. He's available for the tempted and tried. He sympathizes and He saves. He strengthens and sustains. He guards and He guides. He heals the sick. He cleanses the lepers. He forgives the sinner. He discharges debtors. He delivers the captive. He defends the feeble. He blesses the young. He serves the unfortunate. He regards the aged. He rewards the diligent. And He beautifies the meek. I wonder if you know Him.

"Well, this is my king. He's the key to knowledge. He's the wellspring of wisdom. He's the doorway of deliverance. He's the pathway of peace. He's the roadway of righteousness. He's the highway of holiness. He's the gateway of glory. Do you know Him?

"Well, His office is manifold. His promise is sure. His life is matchless. His goodness is limitless. His mercy is everlasting. His love never changes. His word is enough. His grace is sufficient. His reign is righteous. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. I wish I could describe Him to you.

"He's indescribable. He's incomprehensible. He's invincible. He's irresistible. Well, you can't get Him out of your mind. You can't get Him off your hand. You can't outlive Him and you can't live without Him. The Pharisees couldn't stand Him, but they found they couldn't stop Him. Pilate couldn't find fault in Him. Herod couldn't kill Him. Death couldn't handle Him, and the grave couldn't hold Him. That's my king!"

While I was reading that, I couldn't believe how awesome and true that was. I just had to share it because it's the truth, plain and simple.

happy new year!!!! (part 2)

As I said, 2005 was a great year because God has shown me stuff that I never thought possible:

Ministry: God revealed to me back in March what he wanted me to do. I'm sure you all know a certain someone by the name of Scott Peterson. Yes, the one who - and I am not convinced he did it - murdered his wife and unborn child. It all starts with him. It happened while I was in New Brunswick for the youth conference: Okay, so for the past few weeks – months, really – I felt that God has been calling me to start a ministry, like Todd Bentley’s Fresh Fire Ministries, only it won’t be like his…per se. Anyway, this all started with Scott Peterson, dude who killed his eight-month pregnant wife. I’ve been thinking about him, and thinking about him these past few months and I really believe that God gave me a compassion for him. I don’t know why He did…He just did. So, then, I kept thinking about how in New Brunswick for Deeper 2005, one of the speakers, Mike Pilavachi, told us about this old man, Brother Andrew, who is retired from whatever it was that he did, and how he spent his days making friends with terrorists, telling them about Jesus. How cool is that? He also talked about how he felt that some of us were called to walk on the wild side with Jesus. Well, since I’ve been feeling compassionate towards a murderer, I figured that included me. Now, let’s skip the boring stuff and fast forward to the evening’s service. Same speaker, different message. This time, he was talking about people who’re “jars of clay”, meaning that they may view themselves as broken, dirty, and ugly on the outside but have treasures on the inside. Afterwards, I was at home, thinking about – who else? – Scott Peterson and how I could show him mercy since we’re all just like him. I also thought about how cool it would be if he turned to the Lord. Think of the damage he could do!! When I think of him, I think of those two disciples that were in jail. Paul and Silas, I think their names were? God was then like “Dude! If you care this strongly for one of my lost lambs, think of how you can save all of my lost lambs!” I was like “Yeah, you’re right!” And now the cool part:

• I'm thinking reaching out to the prison inmates in various jails/prisons/penitentiaries/etc, etc.
• I'm thinking of showing the people in all of the red-light districts around the world true, unconditional love
• I'm thinking of reaching out to those who have been abused by their daddies and/or mommies and have nobody to love them up, who will protect them, and who will care for them
• I'm thinking of reaching out to those who are just like us only they feel condemned by society for whatever reason
• I'm thinking of reaching out to people on death row and showing them hope and mercy
• I'm thinking of reaching to those deemed "unlovable" by today's society and showing them that they are not alone, that there are people who do care for them

I'm thinking of reaching out to all of these jars of clay and telling them that they are not alone, that they are still of worth, and that all kinds of people love them…no matter who they are, what they did, or where they came from. Especially the One who loves us most. Around the same time that I was thinking about this, I was also thinking about the Bible verses John 8:7-11:

" ... But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straigtened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left with the woman standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin." (taken from the New International Version or NIV)

Church/Friends: Earlier in 2005 I felt bored and somewhat stagnant at my old church, River City Vineyard, and so I went with one of my friends to the church - well, it wasn't really a church back then - he went to. So I went and it had a really lasting impression on me - both good and bad - and I kept going back to it. The church's name is Dunamis, which is the Greek word for "power". You can go to the website and see for yourself what we believe. Pretty amazing. I must say, I much rather prefer Dunamis to River City in terms of friendships. I never really felt like I belonged with RCV but here at Dunamis, I feel like I belong there. I have really strong friendships there and they have helped me in so many ways in my walk with God that I just feel blessed to have them, and Dunamis, in my life.

Rebirth: Weird way to look at this, I know, but this past year I felt more alive than ever before. And I'm not surprised because on January 31, I got wrecked by the Holy Spirit and I felt Him saying that I was being reborn. From that point on, my life has totally been changed for the better. I still make mistakes, and I still disobey my mom occasionally but I just have that feeling of complete serenity that can only come from the Lord you know? It's...well, it's basically unexplainable. How can you explain the unexplainable?

Well it's the middle of January 2006, and I don't want to let go of 2005 until I have thanked people for helping in making the year my best year yet. Some people I know and some people I don't know, and yet, they have all helped in making it the best year yet:

God: First and foremost, I'd like to thank You for taking care of me the past twelve months and for continuing to pour out Your continual blessings upon me. Even when I was down and out, You have never left my side and You have never given up on me...even when I wanted to give up on myself. You sort of revealed to me how I am going to leave this world and you helped me not to be afraid of what's coming. All those months You have been by my side and You had a big part in making my year, and words can never express how much I love You and I will never ever forget You. Thank You so much. I love You Daddy.

Scott Peterson: Even though you will never read this - well, never say never - I'd like to take this time to thank you for helping in making my year. You have no idea what you will do and because of it, you just may save a life or two (or even a hundred). It may seem weird seeing as you aren't going to win any popularity contests anytime soon, but you have helped me more than you'll ever know. Thanks.

Josh Pitka: You, my friend, are so cool! You have no idea how much you have blessed me and challenged me in my walk with God. I feel so blessed and honored to call you my friend. I love you like a big brother, I told you that before, and so I'm telling you again. In the words of the Christian music artist Nichole Nordeman, You make me wanna be brave in my walk with God. And now I think I'm finally ready to jump. I thank God every day for you. Thanks a million.

Oprah Winfrey: You are one cool chick, you know that? You constantly open my eyes to the world surrounding me with the report on child molestation; the report on all the young Ethiopian girls; the special reports on Hurricane Katrina and the continual follow-ups with that; the report on the tsunami; etc; etc. You make me laugh, you make me cry, you make me think. You have such an anointing on your life for this. I could see it on you during the whole child molestation report/Shasta Groene show. You rock. Thank you so much.

Anderson Cooper: Same with Oprah, you constantly open my eyes to the world around me. From the Asian tsunami; to the funeral of Pope John Paul II; to Hurricanes Katrina, Rita, and Wilma; to the Iraqi elections; to the Pakistani earthquake you were there, bringing the world to me. With your outstanding reporting skills you made me become interested in the news again, both the good news and the bad news. Thank you.

Bev Campbell: You are so cool! I feel so blessed that I have you as my friend and because of that, I consider you one of my best friends. You encourage me in my walk with God every single time I see you and you give me very insightful tidbits about God that make me think. You make me want to be the kind of person God wants to be and to give up my vices and things that drag me down in my relationship with God no matter how hard it's going to be. I thank God every day for you. Thanks a bunch.

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition: Thank you guys for making me want to help those who are have the kind(s) of problems that they can't - or don't - think of themselves all that much. Every time I watch the show, I can't help but feel inspired to take action and help someone with the kind(s) of problems that you help people deal with. Well, not exactly help, but certainly make life easier on them. You are a great bunch of people and such an inspiration to me and I just want to say thank you. Keep doing what you do.

Ben Pitka: You are so cool as well, man! You constantly encourage me to walk with God on a daily basis. You help me to see that God has loads of stuff for me and that I should strive harder to get to where God wants me to go. I feel so blessed to call you my friend and I thank God every day for you. Thank you.

Now that I can finally close the book on 2005, I feel that I can now get on with the year 2006. 2006 will be a great year and not only for me, but for God and Christians everywhere. I know this because God Himself told me this:

2006 will be God's year and because of that, all God's children will be drawn into a higher living arrangement in order to experience all that God has for them. They - we, I should say - are going to start doing extremely radical stuff in the name of Jesus, and I just want to proclaim that in the name of Jesus, millions - no, billions - more will come to know the Lord in 2006. I proclaim in the name of Jesus that we - God's children - will start walking with God on a daily basis. I command the Holy Spirit to come and fill us all right now - no matter who we are, no matter where we are and no matter what we are doing - so we can start our new way of living. I declare that from this moment on we can we will have a fresh understanding of what God wants us to do and that we will have an impartation of boldness to do what God wants us to do no matter where, no matter when, and no matter what all in the name of the Christ Jesus.

pity, party of one please

I had this whole second part as a follow-up to my new year's post but then this whole debacle up in West Virginia happened, and I've been totally enthralled with that.

The rescue peeps basically - unintentionally, of course - gave the poor families false hope that their loved ones were alive when they weren't...except for one. I don't blame the fams to go off their rockers like this. I would too! I mean, they were told that the miners were alive and that they were coming up to the church to see them. They were told that!! And now only one is alive? Excuse me for my language but what the hell happened???? These poor people need - and want - answers. They deserve them.

And now it's the media's fault?! Excuse me, but how is it their fault? They were only doing what they were told and saying what they've been told. All I have to say is this: GO TEAM ANDERSON!

And on another note, my friend and I had sort of a "pity party", if you will, about how we both want to get closer to God and stuff but we can't because we need discipline and we have no idea how to go about doing that. We were both saying how we want our friend Josh to kick our butts from here to kingdom come in order for us to get out butts - no pun intended - into high gear. And it isn't supposed to be easy; discipline is supposed to hurt. I mean, it's like what Dr. Phil said once on his show to the actor, Michael Rappaport, when MR was talking about disciplining his kid:

"Time-out is supposed to be a sensory deprivation. Kids have short attention spans," Dr. Phil explains "If you put them up in their room where there are Disney characters all over the wall, Simpsons all over the wall, and stuff that they can look at and study and get into, then that's not punishment ... What you have to have with time-out, is they are deprived of stimulation. That's why it started out in the old days where you have to go stand in the corner. You put them somewhere that they can't entertain themselves, where it's boring for them." (courtesy of DrPhil.com)

There are far too many worldly distractions that are keeping us from spending more and more time with God, which is exactly what Satan wants. That can be summed up in the Bible verse 1 Peter 2:11 (New Living Translation):

" ... So I warn you to keep away from evil desires because they fight against your very souls."

Why is it so hard to wrap our heads around? UGH! It's horrible! Anyway, thanks for listening to my pity party. Next time will be a happier post. I promise.

happy new year!!!!

Well, it's finally 2006. A time to begin anew, a time to maybe reflect on the year 2005 and see if there's anything you had done in '05 that you'd like to change in this new year, and of course, a time to make plans to better yourself in the coming year. Or at least try to. New Year's alwayus seems to be the time to make all these "resolutions" for the upcoming year. Funny thing is, you don't keep them. Oh, you keep for awhile but afterwards, you always go back to the same thing. Well, I say that this year will be different. I say down with resolutions! You don't keep them for very long anyway so why make them? I say instead to turn your resolutions into goals. That way, maybe, you won't have the problem of feeling obligated to keep them. Take me, for instance. The past two years I made it my goal to make the upcoming year my year, meaning, I'll make the year the best year of my life. And so far, it has worked. Every time December 31st rolls around, I tell my mom that it was the best year of my life, and I am not lying.

2005 has been the best year in my life so far. I got more closer to God than I ever thought possible, got in with an awesome bunch of friends whom I just love and adore - Thanks for helping in making '05 the best year of my life! You will never know how much of a blessing you all have been to me, and I joined a new church that is attended by said group of friends, God revealed to me what He wants me to do with my life...my ministry I should say. God has certainly blessed me in the past year. Not only with the cool stuff, but also with the bad. Disasters like the tsunami, Hurricanes Katrina, Wilma, and Rita, the earthquake in Pakistan, etc, etc, they all helped me in opening up my eyes to the world around me. Not that I was living under a rock, it's just that those disasters are making me realize more and more just how blessed I really am.