open letter to playboy bunnies and playmates

Hello Ladies,

You don't know me and I don't know you. If we had to pick each other out of a police lineup, we wouldn't be able to to save our life. But I've got something to say, so listen up!

You're so beautiful. I'm not talking 'bout the beauty that you can buy to keep your face wrinkle-free, to keep your chest perky and big [how do you buy shirts?], to keep your blonde hair blonder, to keep your stomach free of any kind of fat, etc., etc. I'm talking 'bout true beauty, where no amount of money can make you more beautiful than you already are. Because it's true beauty. It's your heart, it's your soul, and in some instances, it's your mind.

You were made for so much more than just sexual objects! Don't you see the potential that's inside of you? Don't tell me that when you were a kid, you told your mom that you wanted to grow up and become sex-personified. You girls have so much potential, can't you see that? You can do whatever you put your mind and heart to. Ladies, you can do so much better than this; you can be so much better than just a "sex toy" for fat, balding, pervy old men when they read that filthy magazine.

You have so much to give; don't let this be the end for you. If you want to be an actress, fine; but there are other ways to break into the business than this route. Why, you can be a producer, writer, even a director. You could even win awards. Heck, you could even be a role model.

Point is, you were made for so much more than this. You were not made to be known as sex objects. You were not made to be looked at like you are a piece of meat. You were not made to have your lady parts - and yes, I did say "lady parts" - be public property.

I have news for you: that "lifestyle" that you enjoy so much, living with a harem of women in an old man's house? Yeah, it isn't healthy for you. At all. It's disgusting. Oh, I'm sure he treats you all with the utmost respect and takes care of you, but honestly? The way I see it is that you're all a bunch of high-tech hookers and prostitutes. I mean, really, let me guess: you all have slept with him more than once. Don't be going degrading yourselves like that.

You deserve more. You deserve all the honour and respect that there is in this world. You deserve to be treated with respect, and not like a piece of meat. You deserve to be known for more than your lady parts and body.

You are beautiful. Don't ever forget that.